BishopAccountability.org
	An Interview with Sue Griffith Healing and Spirituality December 17, 2009 http://jjromo.wordpress.com/ Sue Griffith is a parent of a victim of clergy abuse, a therapist, and an advocate to promote healing from and the eradication of child sexual abuse. Related to this interview, I recommend reading the article on Religious Duress and its Impact on Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse by Fr. Tom Doyle and Dr. Marianne Benkert. In the following interview, JR= Jaime Romo; SG= Sue Griffith: JR: I’ve know you as a generous and committed supporter of survivors of clergy abuse. How did you get involved? SG: I found out about my son’s molestation in 1994 and since then I have been involved in survivor’s groups. It was the natural thing to do to try and find others who had this happen to them in their families. It took me 3 days on the telephone, calling & calling with a referral to this and that and I finally found the clergy survivor’s group in Chicago. That was the beginning of realizing just what a horrendous secret this was in our church. JR: What was your life like before you got involved? SG: I was an active Catholic woman, totally involved in our local church in every area. Both my husband and I were devoted Catholics; all our friends were part of our Catholic family. JR: What happened after you began to speak up about clergy abuse? SG: Of course, we went to the church when our son told us that he was concerned that other children might be abused because the perpetrator was still in service in a local Long Beach church. Our son reported his abuse directly to the Vicar for Clergy for the LA Archdiocese. He was 20 at the time. The Vicar came back to us, after he had removed the priest from duty, and told us they were going to tell the parish that Fr. Llanos was being removed because of “administration stress”. We refused to abide by this and decided, along with our son, to go public. At that time we contacted our very closest friends and asked them to coffee after mass. Along with our son we told them what had happened and what we were going to do. We also asked them for their support. That was the last time we had contact from all of them (with the exception of one good female friend who did support us from a distance). Everyone wanted us to “get over it” and come back to church! When we continued to find out the number of victims Fr. Llanos had, along with the horrendous stories of other victims who got the same treatment from the church we did – we just couldn’t participate. We lost our trust. JR: What sustained you then and what has helped you persevere as an advocate over the years? SG: I think that being involved with other survivors, certainly getting some good therapy and beginning to help others, especially through action – changing some of the state laws, speaking out in support of others. All these things helped to sustain me and help me through the utter dissolution of my faith as a Catholic. I still harbor some anger at the church that I am still working on healing. I have forgiven Fr. Llanos. I’m not completely healed until I can let go and forgive and that is a tall order! I have developed my own spirituality – outside of organized religion. I am just now beginning to find a new home in a faith community. JR: How has your experience with clergy abuse impacted your professional life? SG: I am a therapist myself. I think one’s own personal experience can be of tremendous benefit as long as you are working on your own issues. I specialize in trauma and molestation issues. Because of my own experience I have deep compassion for others who are having trouble finding their way. I know there is hope, even in the darkness. I instill this in my work. JR: What was like for you (what did you learn) when you leafleted churches-what experiences stand out? SG: My experience was one of empowerment. It felt good to be able to stand up and stand by others who have been soul murdered because of clergy abuse. I and my husband were very much like the parents many of the survivors didn’t have – who would stand up and believe them and fight for them. I also learned that the people in the pews have to turn away from this – they can’t get involved because it is too much of a threat to their own faith. JR: We once discussed an article by Fr. Tom Doyle about Religious Duress-and though it talked about the social and intellectual conditioning that religion played in children that led to their victimization by clergy, you said it also related to you and others (faithful parishioners). Can you say more about that? What did you mean? SG: Of course this is so right on. As Catholics, we believed, hook, line and sinker in the goodness of the clergy. How could someone ordained by God do anything but love and protect our children, look out for them. We had blinders on. Fr. Doyle explains this so well in his article. When Fr. Llanos treated my son special, I thought it was wonderful. I thought, as many mothers did, that my son had a vocation………what a wonderful connection to have such a role model to follow! This priest was so charismatic (as most of them are). His liturgy was awesome. He sang love songs to the congregation……people stood in the aisles at his mass……….he was adored. He was untouchable. JR: Given everything you’ve been through, I experience you as a positive person. Do you agree? How do you explain that? SG: Well, I think, first of all, I was blessed with a very positive mother. No matter what I experienced in life, growing up, she helped me put a positive twist on it. She was devoted to Norman Vincent Peal. I didn’t know how that affected me, but I think it did. I’ve always looked for the good, turned the other cheek. Also, I have learned, over the years, to believe in myself – I think that’s very important. I’ve learned who I am, what gifts I have to give and found a way to give them. So that gives me a pretty firm foundation to remain positive despite the down times. JR: What would you say to parents about how they could best protect their kids from abuse? SG: The most important thing is to learn about the prevalence and psychological damage as a result of childhood sexual abuse in our society – institutionally as well as within families. Don’t pretend that it isn’t happening, because it is. Learn about what “grooming” looks like. Talk directly to your children about inappropriate touch/familiarity. Trust your instincts – because there are warning signs, internal alarm bells – parental instincts. Our blind faith (denial) prevented us from listening to these signals. Listen to your children, believe what they say. JR: Thank you for your support, example of advocacy and time.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.