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	It's Impossible to Gloss over the Crime of Rape By Natalie Costanza-Chavez Denver Post October 11, 2009 http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_13518130 I know a girl who got in a fight with her boyfriend and walked around her block to calm down. Hours later, he went looking for her; she was under a bush, whimpering, naked and almost dead. She'd been taken, raped, beaten, tortured and then dumped back in her neighborhood. She remained in the hospital for months. I know of a boy who went to confession and, as penance, was told to come to the priest's room after lights out. The boy was told that to ignore the order would mean eternal damnation. (The man, no longer a priest, has been in jail for many years.) I know of a college girl who was pushed by a professor to have sex. She said no, and as he held her down in the guise of romance, she remembered the tampon she was wearing and knew it would stop him — she thought she'd be safe. It didn't stop him. She thought it was her fault. I know a girl who thought she was in love with her high school track coach. She was 15. He made her promise not to tell anyone — not her parents, not other teachers, no one. They had sex in the back of his car until he was caught and arrested. Each story is different, and all are about rape. Rape is a crime of violence and control. Definitions are vital for legal characterization of specific sexual crimes — misconduct, assault, statutory, serial, abuse, coercion, age of consent, pedophile, penetration, forcible, attempted. These words are heavy with gradation, and are important for definition and discernment of separate crimes. But once any of these words are assigned to rape, rape remains. Violence and control doesn't always brandish a knife or a gun and drag you into an abandoned building. Violence and control can be brandished using only words, trust, manipulation. In the news of late are disturbing stories. McKenzie Phillips has a new book out in which she speaks of a "consensual sexual relationship" with her father. There is no such thing as a consensual sexual relationship with a parent. Any kind of sexual relationship with a parent is the crime and fault of the parent — no matter the age of the son or daughter. The second story involves Whoopi Goldberg, in reference to a case involving Roman Polanski, who is accused of raping a 13-year- old girl 32 years ago. Before his sentencing, and after he pled guilty and waived his right to trial, he fled the country and is now being extradited back to the U.S. Goldberg said of Polanski, "I'm sure it wasn't rape-rape." I hope Goldberg by now has read the stomach-churning grand jury testimony given by Polanski's victim and apologized. Date-rape, parent-rape, clergy-rape, sex-with-a-minor rape, well-look-what-she-was-wearing rape, break-in-your-house-in-the-dead-of-night rape, and whatever Goldberg was referencing when she said "it wasn't rape-rape" are all rape. Rape is a crime of control and violence. How the victim gets through it — screaming or silently — is their business. What the victim was wearing is their business. When and if, the victim reports the crime is their business. What the victim was drinking, or how the victim was dancing, or where the victim was walking, or what prior sexual relationship the victim had with the rapist is all their business. Rape is a crime of control and violence. It is an abuse of power — sometimes the power is supervisory, religious, parental or situational. The perpetrator can manipulate using age, money, drugs, alcohol, threats, brainwashing, a knife, a gun, the promise of love, the promise of "I know best." The crime is still rape. Rape is rape. It's a word that describes a multitude of scenarios — each one a violation — inexcusable, indefensible, undeniable.
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