BishopAccountability.org
	Living and Surviving Abuse God Squad August 25, 2009 http://www.paddydoyle.com/living-and-surviving-abuse/ Living and surviving abuse My Name is Derek Power and I am a victim and active survivor of clerical childhood sexual abuse. I first arrived at the Waterford Rape Crises Centre in the summer of 1995 having been referred by a relative. At this point in time I was 25 years of age. I had been raped and abused as a child by a member of the Christian Brothers in the late 1970's over a two year period when I was of a tender age while a student at a primary school in Waterford City. In October of 1993 I made my statement to Gardai in Dublin where I lived at that time. My statement to detail the circumstances of my abuse and rape at the hands of this man took over two hours. I spent the following 18 months alone and with the memories and torture of that experience while an investigation was being carried out. In this period I had started to develop anxiety and suffer from depression. I truly felt alone and desperate. I felt I had a voice with no volume. On visiting the Rape Crises Centre I encountered Ms Sheila Vereker and began my sessions of counselling. From my first day I began to feel an immediate sense of relief for the first time. My relief was given to me by being allowed to talk to someone for the first time about exactly what had occurred to me. This was a service that dealt with my main problem, my childhood abuse. To be able to speak to a person about how I felt about this and its effect on my life. I had encountered psychiatric services around this time but I now had a place and friends where the sole concern was to deal with facing the future as a victim and survivor. Over the next number of months I began a process for the first time of coming to terms with my hurtful childhood. I had completed my sessions of counselling and was now in a position to begin taking ownership of the events of the past. During that time I visited the centre once a week for a coffee as the investigation was drawing to a close and we were awaiting the decision of The DPP. This decision as with many others did not go in my way or in the way of justice. The Christian Brother had denied all alligations I had made. This became a major set back and once again brought me back to counselling. Through my second round of counselling I began to gain further strength in my pursuit of the Christian Brother and indeed his order to accept responsibility for his actions. With the help of a wonderful man Garda Sergeant Dennis Barry, a second investigation began. Within a number of months there were 11 victims of Bro Jack Kelly that had come forward. Although I welcomed this with enormous relief I still felt an over whelming fear and apprehension of the legal system and the pending case. In the following years from 1996 to 1999 my contact with the rape crises centre was regular and frequent. All of the emotions a person could fear came to the fore and these were many. One by one I faced them with Sheila, she helped me look at the matter in a realistic way. Dealing with mental health issues was the toughest. I had to take responsibility for my own actions and make others accountable for theirs, and deal with my past responsibly. I was extremely fortunate to have had Mr Michael Lanigan (Sols) from Kilkenny who advised me and took the matter as a civil case. As the victim I was not allowed legal representation in the matter of the prosecution. I had made a good friend in Michael and with his legal advice he allowed me to fight unjust issues that arose in the case. In my believe Michael Lanigan was underpaid and over worked and was always their when I needed him. Finally in 1999 my case came to Circuit Criminal Court in Dublin. On the day I was accompanied by my family and members of the Rape Crises Centre. This day was the culmination of many years having being a victim but more over a day for justice to be given to all the victims of Br Jack Kelly. I learned from Michael Lanigan that this case was being watched all over Ireland and further a field. My abiding memory is of the two Sheila's (Vereker & Croke) telling me to centre myself and to acknowledge that it was my right and determination that allowed this case to happen and that this was a day I should feel proud and justified in myself. I stood in that courtroom with my sense of belonging and pride. For once I felt no fear. Arraigned on 156 charges of child abuse Bro Kelly finally pleaded guilty. I knew on this day that I finally had in me my recovery. I knew that all the process of counselling and therapy had brought me to this point. My strength was the most poignant of my feelings and it was that feeling I was most proud of. I had justified the horrible experience perpetrated against me as a child. And most important I was vindicated. In all of this I remember my loving family, my solicitor who I have mentioned. I remember the brave Garda Sergeant. I remember WLR for helping open this to the public, in particular Mr Billy McCarthy who opened the issue on his radio show and who always allowed me time to voice any injustice in the long years it took to gain justice. But most of all, I will never forget my life friends at the Rape Crises Centre. Most of all I will never forget my fight to gain justice for my childhood. I had regained my life and I had fought for it and hard. I am here today because of others the assistance in helping me fight. To all that read this I can only say that life was worth the fight and no person has the right to impede upon that right. In a strange way the fight for this justice helped create a new sense of meaning for me. For this I know that all at the Waterford Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre hold a special place in my life. I pay special thanks to my dear friend Sheila Vereker, to whom I will always be indebted too and to whom I thank with great pride from the bottom of my heart for her dogged believe in me and allowing me to realise it myself. Derek Power Castleknock Dublin
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.