Woman Walks across Oregon, Ready to Hear Stories of Abuse
By Kathy Aney
East Oregonian
July 31, 2009
http://eastoregonian.com/main.asp?FromHome=1&TypeID=1&ArticleID=95996&SectionID=13&SubSectionID=48
Virginia Jones bills herself as a compassionate listener, a human magnet for heart-breaking stories of abuse.
During Jones' Walk Across Oregon, she hopes people will seek her out and share tales of rape, domestic violence, clergy abuse and other mistreatment.
The Portlander's journey started Tuesday in La Grande and Jones plans walks in towns from Joseph to the Pacific Ocean. Last year, she walked in the southern part of the state.
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| Virginia Jones has struggled with depression and trust issues most of her life after sexual abuse as a child. Here, she works on a Soviet fishing vessel in the 1980s, monitoring the sailors as they fish in American waters, a job she said started to help her build confidence. Now, 20 years later, she is walking across Oregon to heighten awareness and lend a listening ear to abuse victims. Photo by Virginia Jones |
On Monday and Tuesday, she will trek through Pendleton and Hermiston wearing a bright blue T-shirt that says "Walk Across Oregon. Stop Child Abuse. Heal the Wounds." Marta Harvill, the director of Umatilla County's Domestic Violence Services, will walk with Jones, along with other DVS staff members and volunteers.
Jones' interest in the subject of abuse is born of personal experience.
When Jones was 4 years old, two teenage boys lured her into a basement and abused her. Later, the little girl told her mother what had happened and got a cryptic explanation.
"That's where babies come from," her mother told the little girl.
The frightening experience colored the way she looked at the world, she said.
"I struggled with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem," she said.
If her older brother brought more than one friend home, she'd hide in the closet. Family members would have to coax her out.
By high school, she was a model student and eventual valedictorian, but inside she flirted with the idea of suicide. Later, the damage was magnified after Jones, then 22, was raped while on a date.
Even now, she struggles with trust and self-esteem issues, and is often uncomfortable with casual human touch.
After Jones married and converted to Catholicism, the Franciscan priest who baptized Jones and her two children was removed from his Portland parish after his sexual abuse of boys came to light. Though it seems Jones has endured more than her share, she says her story is not uncommon.
"Two out of 10 people you meet every day will have been sexually abused as a child," Jones said. "Many are too terrified to ever come forward. Others come forward but have no support emotionally or legally for what they have gone through."
Jones hopes by putting the subject of abuse front and center, it will raise awareness, cause abusers to think twice and give people who've suffered abuse an outlet. She also says that compassionate listening uplifts victims and speeds the healing process.
After her parish was hit with the revelations of its priest's sexual abuse of boys, Jones watched the fallout with concern and started a period of reflection.
"It caused me to examine what had happened in the Catholic Church and in my own life," she said. "I made the link."
Jones co-founded Compassionate Gathering, a support group for survivors of clergy abuse. The group has morphed to include anyone who has suffered abuse.
In addition, she organizes survivor support groups and teaches classes on compassionate listening.
In Pendleton, Jones and Harvill will start at 9 a.m. at Roy Raley Park, stroll the River Walk to Main Street, then head south on Main to Heritage Station, where they will remain for an hour (from 11 a.m. to noon). After lunch at Great Pacific, they will walk to the DVS office at 1103 SE Court Place. Jones invites anyone to engage her in conversation, even during lunch.
In Hermiston, Jones will walk from Good Shepherd Medical Center (main entrance) to DVS offices at 240 SE Second St.
"I know that as we walk across Oregon, we will encounter many more people, many more stories," Jones said.
For a complete itinerary of Jones' trek, go to www.compassionategathering.org.
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