Between Halakha and Pedophilia, Elana Sztokman, June 11, 2009

Between Halakha and Pedophilia

Elana Sztokman
June 11, 2009

http://blog.elanasztokman.com/2009/06/11/between-halakha-and-pedophilia/

Here's a doozy from Rabbi Aviner's website today on girls and skirts:

Q: My daughter is 8 years old and refuses to wear skirts. How and when is the best way and age to get her to start?

A: There is an obligation to wear a skirt at this age. It is similar to all other educational issues in which she should be encouraged including prizes if need be.

Let's put aside the troubling educational practice of bribing kids into doing things they really do not want to be doing. I mean, it's almost innocuous — after all, I buy my 5-year old a snack in order to move us through the supermarket a bit faster. Although, I would say that there's a huge difference between trying to get my shopping done and bribing my child into doing something that she really does not want to do. Especially if what she doesn't want to do is bad for her.

Let's face it. Girls in skirts cannot do cartwheels, climb a tree, swim, ride a bike, hang upside down on the monkey bars, or sit freely in a chair without being obsessively aware of the location of her knees. So, yeah, a girl who doesn't want to wear skirts is probably expressing a healthy desire to move, to live, and to experience her body with zest and zeal. Maybe if she is offered enough chocolates she'll change her mind about that. (And we wonder where eating disorders come from.) Good educating there, rabbi!

But let's put all that aside for a moment, because there is something that really, really bothers me about this whole discourse. I don't know about you, but I'm a little uncomfortable with the way rabbis and poskim freely discuss the bodies of underage little girls. Sure, we can call it halakha if we want. But really, when rabbis talk about how girls need to cover their bodies, aren't they bordering, just a tad, on pedophilia? What exactly do rabbis mean when they say that a girl needs to wear skirts? Or long sleeves? Or whatever latest mishugas is on the order of the day, from braids to socks to cellphones?

The message is that girls from this young age have to be aware of how their bodies are seen. That is, seen by men. The message is that from this early age, girls must effectively be taught to know that their bodies are viewed as sexual. Even if they are only 8 years old. Or younger.

Rabbi, that is really sick. Bordering on — or perhaps promoting — pedophilia.

I'm reminded of the writing of Rabbi Lau about whether or not a little girl should be allowed to sing Anim Zemirot. His answer relies on the idea that "kol isha erva" applies to young girls. That is, as if it's not troubling enough that a man thinks that my adult voice is sinfully alluring, what's worse is that the sexualizing of voice is now carried over to young, pre-pubescent girls.

As I said, pedophilia.