Play in Mendham a First-Hand Look at Abuse Will Benefit Road to Recovery Which Helps Victims of Clergy, by Abbott Koloff, Daily Record, June 8, 2009

Play in Mendham a First-Hand Look at Abuse
Will Benefit, 'Road to Recovery,' Which Helps Victims of Clergy

By Abbott Koloff
Daily Record
June 8, 2009

http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/20090608/COMMUNITIES/906070329/1005/NEWS01

Joe Capozzi's play starts with him hearing voices.

One voice tells him to keep a dark secret. Another tells him to speak out. That struggle was part of Capozzi's life for two decades after his alleged sexual abuse by a Catholic priest when he was 16 years old.

The autobiographical play ends in 2005 when he tells his estranged wife that he had been molested by the same priest who performed their marriage ceremony. Everything leading to that point explains why it took so long to talk about the abuse, Capozzi said. But not completely.

"I'm still trying to understand myself," said Capozzi, 40, who grew up in Bergen County and now lives in Manhattan.

Capozzi and other actors will perform a reading of the play "For Pete's Sake" — named for the priest who allegedly molested him — at Grace Lutheran Church in Mendham on June 20 to benefit a nonprofit organization called Road to Recovery. He said he wrote the play so others would understand why it's so difficult for abuse victims to come forward. And he wants the reading to help a group that he said was instrumental in his recovery.

Monsignor Kenneth Lasch (left) and the Rev. Bob Hoatson founded Road to Recovery to help victims of clergy abuse. Below, Joe Capozzi has written a play about his own abuse.
Photo by Sarah Simonis

"You feel so alone," said Capozzi, an actor who has had parts in "Law and Order" along with some soap operas. "You wonder if anybody is going to believe you."

Road to Recovery was founded by two priests — Bob Hoatson, who was placed on administrative leave by the Newark Archdiocese after filing a lawsuit against the Catholic Church that included a wrongful termination claim, and Monsignor Kenneth Lasch of Morristown, a nationally known advocate for victims. Hoatson said the group has helped about 500 victims over the past five years, often paying for emergency counseling and advising victims on how to report abuse to church officials.

"When somebody calls, we want to get to them immediately," said Hoatson, who said he also was a victim of clergy abuse. "Otherwise, they may go back into a shell. Telling their story is the first step in their recovery."

Lasch said victims of clergy abuse often feel their connection to God has been severed, increasing their feelings of isolation.

"It's different than ordinary sexual abuse," Lasch said. "People go into a deep depression. If God permits this, does God exist? Many victims don't go to any church. They don't believe in God anymore. . . . It typically takes 20 to 30 years for somebody to come to grips with the abuse. It gets buried. There is a lot of denial, and shame is a big factor."

Capozzi said he remained silent because the priest had been a big part of his family for many years, often invited for holidays and birthday parties. Capozzi said he didn't know whether he'd be believed. He said he also wasn't sure whether some people might blame him for being abused. But he said he came forward because the priest was getting close to another boy.

IF YOU GO

A reading of "For Pete's Sake" will be held at Grace Lutheran Church, 65 East Main St. in Mendham, at 5 p.m. June 20. Tickets are $20, with all proceeds going to Road to Recovery, a nonprofit group that helps victims of clergy abuse. To contact Road to Recovery, call Bob Hoatson at 862-368-2800.

The N.J. chapter of the Survivor Network of those Abused by Priests, known as SNAP, meets at Grace Lutheran Church in Mendham on the first Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. To contact SNAP, call chapter's family outreach coordinator Pat Serrano at 201-715-6510.

"I was worried the same thing would happen to this kid," Capozzi said.

An Internet search helped him get in touch with Patricia Serrano of Mendham, an official with the New Jersey chapter of the Survivor's Network of those Abused by Priests, known as SNAP, which holds monthly meetings at Grace Lutheran. Her son Mark was abused decades ago by admitted child-molester James Hanley, former pastor of St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Church in Mendham. She put Capozzi in touch with Hoatson and Road to Recovery, which helped him report his allegations to Newark Archdiocese officials.

"He didn't judge me," Capozzi said of Hoatson. "He knew where I was coming from."

The priest who allegedly abused him has denied Capozzi's claims but agreed to retire without faculties, which means he's not allowed to function as a priest, said James Goodness, a spokesman for the Newark Archdiocese. The allegations were made public too late for criminal charges to be filed because of the statute of limitations.

Capozzi said he chose Mendham for this month's reading because it was at the center of the Catholic Church abuse scandal. Hanley has admitted to molesting at least a dozen children, most of them at St. Joseph's, and was defrocked six years ago. But Mendham also has become known as a place where victims have been healed, Capozzi said. Hanley's victims held public meetings to discuss the abuse seven years ago, and the Mendham SNAP meeting draws people from all over the state.

Capozzi said he was helped by the SNAP meetings, and a part of his healing is to let people know how his one-time mentor became his abuser.

"If family members of victims say, "I understand now,' that would make it worth it," he said.