BishopAccountability.org
	Anyone Can Be a Victim, Suspect By Clare Mounteer Monterey Herald April 26, 2009 http://www.montereyherald.com/opinion/ci_12231785?nclick_check=1 I t is not surprising that the public is shocked and confused by recent high-profile charges leveled against Melissa Huckaby, accused of the rape and murder of 8-year-old Sandra Cantu, and in our own community by sexual assault charges against the Rev. Antonio Cortes and Dr. Carl Bergstrom. We like to think that young mothers, priests and doctors are some of the most trustworthy people in society when it comes to our personal safety. Some, like the parishioners of St. Mary's, where Cortes has been their priest, find it not just unthinkable, but unbelievable that a man who has been so helpful to so many could ever sexually violate a young boy. And there is comfort in that belief. To believe differently makes us afraid to trust anyone and makes us all vulnerable. Although these cases have yet to be adjudicated, they do illustrate the unfortunate truth that anyone can be accused of being a perpetrator of sexual violence, and that anyone can be a victim. In these cases, two of the alleged victims are children, and one is a male. In all three cases, the victims and alleged perpetrators were known to each other. Statistics tell us that 75 percent of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, and that number increases to 85 percent in the case of child victims. Sexual predators deliberately select those who are vulnerable to them; those who they can easily overpower, those who are less likely to tell anyone — let alone report to the authorities. Studies indicate that somewhere between 16 and 30 percent of sexual assault victims come forward and report to law enforcement. We don't really know the real number, but it continues to be a difficult decision for victims to make. Will anyone believe them? What will happen if they report? Will the media find out? Will their friends and family think less of them? Will anyone support them? So if no one can be trusted and everyone is a potential victim, what can we do? We can begin by giving our children permission to actually use the word "NO" to adults when/if they are asked to do something that makes them uncomfortable. There's a difference between being assertive and being rude. We can teach children from an early age about their private body parts, which should not be shared. We can encourage children and adults to listen, trust and follow through on those instincts that alert us when something is wrong. At the Monterey County Rape Crisis Center, it is not unusual for us to hear from survivors that they realized something was wrong but chose to ignore that internal warning signal before it was too late. As a society of bystanders and witnesses to what goes on, we can speak up and speak out against pornography. We can boycott trashy movies that objectify and perpetuate myths about sexual assault. We can support responsible legislation that makes the penalties tougher for sexual predators and that supports sexual assault survivors. We can learn from the real-life stories reported in the media about the realities of these crimes that we read in the newspaper, and see on television, and we can use them as an opportunity to actually talk about these issues in our homes and with our loved ones. Clare Mounteer is executive director of the Monterey County Rape Crisis Center.
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