By Tina Comeau
The Vanguard
February 3, 2009
http://www.novanewsnow.com/article-298526-Breaking-his-silence-Del-Boudreau-says -he-too-was-abused-by-parish-priest.html
He sits at the boardroom table. His hair grey and thinning. His face weathered by the years.
There's no sign of the young boy he once was. At least no physical sign.
A couple of minutes earlier he had walked into this newspaper's office and asked if a certain reporter was available to see him.
"You'll want to bring some paper," he tells her.
Seated across the table he begins.
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| For the longest time Del Boudreau kept silent about what he says happened to him when he was a young boy Photo by Tina Comeau |
"I was about 11 or 12. I was an altar boy." And as his voice momentarily trails off to a whisper, it quickly becomes apparent where his story is headed. A sense of dread, yet also empowerment, filters into the room.
Like his brother Kenneth had done in the same office a few days earlier, Del Boudreau states publically something he wasn't able to talk about openly for most of his life. When he was a young boy he claims he was sexually abused by Father Adolphe LeBlanc, a former parish priest at Saint Michael's Church in Wedgeport, who died in January 1971.
But watching his brother Kenneth and another man, Raymond Boudreau of Wedgeport, come forward to tell their tales of abuse has given Del Boudreau the strength to do what he couldn't do as a young boy or teenager. And he hopes this courage, however late in life, spreads to others.
"I'm going public to help other people who I know are going through this. I don't care if it was 50 years ago, they're still hurting," he says.
"And maybe, also, I want to prove to the public that it wasn't just Kenneth and Raymond."
Boudreau already knows there are more. He knows because others have told him they were victims. And then there's always the rumours.
"I figure there's 25 or 35, or more, just in Wedgeport," he says.
Father LeBlanc was ordained in 1924. Over the years he was assigned to parishes in Wedgeport, Salmon River, Comeau's Hill, Plympton, Amherst and Yarmouth. He resigned in December 1969, two years before his death.
A civil lawsuit has been filed against the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Halifax and the Diocese of Yarmouth seeking millions of dollars in damages and costs. Those involved in the lawsuit hope the civil action brings about answers to questions like: How could this have happened? And, did someone know? Most importantly they hope it brings about change so people can't continue to get away with the abuse of others.
Since the story has broken, Boudreau – the founder of Del Agency Ltd., a local insurance and financial services company – has followed the comments that have been posted on newspaper websites by the public: 'Why dredge this up 50 years later? Why didn't they come forward sooner? The priest is dead, how can he defend himself? They're only doing this for the money.'
But unless you've walked in his shoes – or trembled in them, as was the case when he was a young boy – Boudreau says it's hard for others to presume what they would have done in a similar situation.
Because it was not a man, soon set to turn 65 years old, that didn't come forward all of those years ago. It was a young boy.
"What he did to me was the first time that had ever happened," Boudreau says, not quite able to bring himself to use the words or describe the sexual encounter in graphic detail. Back then he doubts he even would have even known what words to use.
Still, even Boudreau says there are questions he's can't answer for himself.
"You always ask yourself, why did you go back? Why didn't I try to stop him?"
The abuse lasted a couple of years and ended when Boudreau stopped being an altar boy. At the age of 17 or 18, he did finally tell someone what had happened. He told another priest. He was told God would deal with his abuser. And he was told to find forgiveness in his heart.
But Boudreau says his heart had no room for that type of forgiveness. And so it was a secret he carried throughout his life.
But it wasn't an easy secret to live with.
The first time Boudreau drank himself drunk he was 16 years old. He was sick to his stomach but he also felt free because momentarily he didn't remember the abuse. The bottle became both his friend and his enemy.
Boudreau stopped going to church except for times of necessity, like to attend a wedding or a funeral. And it wasn't until a long time into his marriage that he was able to tell his wife what had happened to him when he was a young boy.
Only just very recently, a couple of days before this interview, was he able to tell other members of his family about the abuse.
So if he couldn't tell the people he was closest to, he says, how could he tell the world? Or how could others be expected to do the same. Aside from the shame, embarrassment and guilt, Boudreau says things were very different in the 1950s. You just didn't question or tarnish the church. And you certainly didn't speak ill of a priest.
So he told no one. Not even his brother Kenneth who was experiencing the same thing. The brothers only confided their abuse to one another about a year ago.
Now the time to remain quiet has passed.
"When (my brother) came out with it, it just brought it all back and I said, to hell with it," says Boudreau. "This week I know why it takes so long to come forward. Because other people have told me it's still impossible for them to go public."
All the more reason, he says, to share his story.
"Sometimes in this world or in this lifetime, you have things that you can't share with anybody. This may sound selfish, but I hope what I'm doing helps other people," he says.
Even before his story appeared in this newspaper, people heard about the abuse Boudreau suffered. And they called and spoke to him about their own abuse. One of those phone calls came from a woman who, at the age of nine going on 10, was abused. Not by a priest, but by an uncle.
"She said, 'Del, you're the first one I've told,'" he says.
Boudreau has mixed emotions when asked how that made him feel. But he knows what message he has for others.
"Don't carry it with you for the rest of your life like I did," he says. "Share it with somebody. And never forget that it wasn't your fault."
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