By James McEvoy
Catholic Spirit
October 2, 2008
http://www.catholicspirit.com/stories/2008/10_2_08/cybersexworkshop.html
PISCATAWAY — With the advent of the Internet, accessing information has never been quicker or easier. Unfortunately that includes pornography, which according to some estimates includes nearly 40 million regular users in the United States.
To address the growing problem of cybersex the Diocese of Metuchen's Department of Clergy and Religious Personnel sponsored a workshop, "Cybersex: The Wrong Side of the Internet," which is designed to heighten the alertness of pastoral ministers.
 |
| Benedictine Father Roman Paur of St. John’s Abbey in Collegeville, Minn., describes the growing problem of cybersex Sept.22 at the St. John Neumann Pastoral Center Photo by James McEvoy |
Benedictine Father Roman Paur of St. John's Abbey in Collegeville, Minn., led the workshop Sept. 22 at the St. John Neumann Pastoral Center.
Father Paur is the founding executive director of the Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute, which assists in the understanding and the prevention of clergy sexual misconduct and facilitates healing to victims and offenders.
Father Paur began by defining cybersex as the intentional accessing of sexually explicit materials on the Internet or engaging others in communication through the Internet that is explicitly sexual.
He added that it is always criminal when cybersex involves a minor.
Father Paur said the problem of cybersex spread quickly as the Internet became more accessible and mainstream.
"We were totally unprepared for this technology," he said.
He additionally identified some factors which lead users to embrace cybersex, including easy access and anonymity.
Cybersex can also be easily justified in that the user believes that no one is getting hurt or that it is not as morally problematic as actually having sex, Father Paur added.
Father Paur raised an interesting question regarding whether cybersex addiction was a moral crisis or to be considered a medical issue such as alcohol or drug abuse. Cybersex addiction shares many of the attributes of addictive behavior, including the difficulty in withdrawing from accessing online adult material, he said.
Father Paur also discussed the binge and purge cycle, where a user will react to some internal or external trigger to cease the activity entirely only to ultimately return later due to another trigger.
He said the cycle needs to be broken and people need to begin the integrity of true commitment, which he emphasized "starts with each of us."
Although, Father Paur described ways people can be treated for cybersex addiction similar to that of alcohol and drug abusers, he admitted society does not accept cybersex as an addiction.
He felt the situation could be addressed by educational awareness and creating local community expertise.
Father Paur said it is essential to help those addicted as it is highly unlikely they would stop without any form of external intervention.
He also detailed the likely consequences of compulsive cybersex addiction, including loss of compassion, friendship and intimacy as well as the erosion of spiritual values.
The behavior also generates the need for repetition as the user feeds on the guilt and the shame of the act, Father Paur said, adding that prolonged cybersex use can lead to physical and emotional isolation as well.
He additionally presented surprising statistics about who is mostly likely to access online pornographic materials. According to his workshop, most users are high-income adults with at least some level of college education.
Approximately 60 percent of users have an annual income of $60,000 or more and most access takes place between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., he said.
Further, nearly 12 percent of all Web sites are pornographic and there are 50 new adult sites every day.
Father Paur tried to put the astronomically high number of sites in perspective, saying if a child born at that moment clicked on a new site every minute they would be unable to see every site by the end of their life.
Deacon Mickey Coppola of St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Port Reading, said the workshop was "enlightening" about something he considers "an increasing problem."
He added that many of the statistics were "staggering" and gave him the belief that the problem is much deeper than many think.
Despite the bad news, Deacon Coppola sees hope in that the workshop also provided a "good way to deal with it."
Ann Marie Pacciano, technology curriculum coordinator of Bishop George Ahr High School said the presentation opened her eyes.
"To raise awareness of the cybersex issue is of great significance to our society," she said.
Pacciano added that there is renewed motivation to address the issue and find new ways to do so, including seeking experts to "help guide us."
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.