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	Faith and Values: Protecting Our Children from Clergy Abuse By Sally Santana Kitsap Sun August 2, 2008 http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2008/aug/02/faith-and-values-protecting-our-children-from/ Pope Benedict XVI, on a trip recently to Sydney, Australia, said, "I would like to pause to acknowledge the shame which we have all felt as a result of the sexual abuse of minors by some clergy and religious in this country." He went on to say "I am deeply sorry for the pain and suffering the victims have endured. I assure them as their pastor that I too share in their suffering." While I am sure many deeply appreciated hearing those words, there and throughout the world, it also is true that there is only so much one can do when identifying with the agony of a victim. Visible circumstances may be similar but the internal effect, the depth to which one suffers, is intensely personal and unknown to anyone else. Most of us put some amount of trust in authority, whether it comes in the form of a teacher, coach, elected official, pastor or employer. Our prison systems provide custodial misconduct training to staff to avoid abuse of those under their care. The larger religious denominations provide training also; same for schools. And yet, it happens. And there is a deeper level of trust when it involves the pastor or someone in leadership of a church. The situation is best described, I think, by the Faith Trust Institute (www.faithtrustinstitute.org) in Seattle. From its Web site we read, "Sexual abuse in a ministerial relationship occurs when a religious leader uses a congregant (parishioner/student/disciple) to meet his or her personal needs and crosses sexual and emotional boundaries. Trust is betrayed; boundaries are violated; body and soul are broken. Victims of abuse often feel abandoned by God." Why? Because we often believe them to be closer, more knowledgeable of God. It's like alarm bells may go off in our heads — something about this isn't right! But we set it aside, don't listen to our gut because pastor would never do anything to hurt us — s/he is God's representative. If you aren't safe here, body and soul, where can you be? Indeed. We have created a culture, however, where this can happen relatively easily. Many of us were taught that those that are in pastoral leadership in any faith community are specially "called by God" and therefore would never do anything abusive. But we see, continually, that that is not true (www.faithtrustinstitute.org/downloads/winter_2004_newsletter.pdf). And although the vast majority of those who have chosen to serve God and God's people are above reproach, it's that one in ten thousand that brings fear, shame, anger and disbelief to a soul, a community. What can you do to protect your children from such an individual? Teach them that: 1) we all are human and open to sin; 2) that verbal, emotional and physical abuse is wrong; 3) that they are to report anything to you that didn't feel right, no matter the source; 4) and most of all, to trust themselves and know that you love them unconditionally and will protect them from harm. Contact Sally Santana at sally.santana@wavecable.com.
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