BishopAccountability.org
	Gozo Home Victim Speaks Out: First 'Investigation' Was 'Despicable' By Lou Bondi Malta Independent May 4, 2008 http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=68679 Lou Bondi interviews Joseph Raggio, one of the victims, about what went on at Lourdes Home in Gozo Joseph lived at the home from birth (1973) and left when he was 11 (1984). Then from 11 to 16 he was at San Guzepp. He met his biological mother, when he was 20. "I asked for her many times." Sensation when he met her the first time: "Nothing, nothing" No reaction? "No". Why? "It was too late and I couldn't see her as my mother. My adoptive mother is my real mother." What did he tell his biological mother? "I don't remember. I can hardly recall the day. She cried a lot." He can't remember anything of the meeting They did not agree not to meet again. They just never did. Is she still alive? "I don't know whether she is alive or dead." He even met his brothers and sisters. He had a good relationship but he lost touch. "Yes, we took different paths." He is clear about one thing: a single nun was the culprit. Not all his memories are ugly. "No, I have some fond memories. Whenever they used to take us out, the little parties, being with the other kids. All this was great fun." But he does say that these memories faded much faster than the bad ones. The biggest harm was: "That the nuns ruined our lives with these bad memories." "I was sure that the same nun who hurt me continued to do so as long as she stayed there. I had nothing to gain from showing my face." He decided to show his face for the children who were still there. "I knew that I would be credible only if I showed my face. That was why I did it, hard as it was." The first commission, along with Bishop Nikol Cauchi, were "despicable". Why? "It was all a sham. I showed them what the problem was. But all they did was appoint puppets or clowns who pretended to be doing something but everything remained the same. When I gave my testimony, instead of investigating what I said, he told me I was lying." He was not informed that the report was finished so he was not even informed that the commission was. "I found out that the report came out and that it was a whitewash on Bondiplus." This was six years after the report was commissioned. Not every nun at Lourdes Home was like that one nun. Why did they not say or do anything? Most of the violence, he says, took place in their absence. But even when they knew they turned a blind eye just did not act "What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas." "She first dragged me along the corridor. And she knew what she was going to do. She put the gas cooker on and put the palm of my hand in the fire. It was not a burn that left a mark but I felt the pain." One day when he was late for church, she pushed him and his head hit the edge of the door entrance. "A lot of blood cam out and she started to panic. She took me to the other home and found another nun. The nun that hit me lied about what happened." He was taken to hospital and had to have stitches in his head. "We often had to say the entire rosary kneeling down and it used to get very painful and uncomfortable. But the nun never allowed us to lean back to get some sort of respite." They used to sleep in the afternoon and if he needed to get up to go to the toilet he had to be careful not to wake her. "One time, I really needed to go to the toilet and out of fear I peed in bed. So I got it anyway." Got what? "She hit me hard with a wooden clothes hanger on my knuckles." Reactions to second report. "Deep joy and satisfaction. There had been great doubts about the credibility of our stories and about the Church's predisposition to admit the truth. "At first I thought that the problem was solved. But now I realise that the real work is about to begin." What work? "The guilty nuns have to face up to their past and what they did." The problem is, he says, that there is not much one can do, because technically speaking the Dominican nuns are not under the control of the bishop, or the archbishop for that matter. "So we are once again facing a brick wall. What do we do now, go to higher Church authorities abroad?" He believes that Lourdes Home "should continue to operate and take care of children". Also the government "has to take a more active interest". "We are citizens of this country, not citizens of the Church". "The nuns brainwashed us into a Church way of life praying all the time, harsh discipline, regimentation, always walking in twos, time to sleep, to eat, to wash, to play, to stop playing. We did not know what choice was, in anything in life. They did not prepare us for the real life we had to face once we left the Home." San Guzepp was great. At 16 he had to face the world and that is when problems started cropping up. He started working as a waiter at a Marsalforn restaurant and had various run-ins with the police on a range of crimes. "It's like taking a car, removing the brake and letting it roll down a hill. That is what my life was like when I left Lourdes Home. I hit rock bottom. Then I found a priest who helped me a lot, and stayed with me during the whole bumpy ride down the hill" What is he still prepared to do? "I want to see what the Church is going to do. I could give advice to the Church on how to run its homes better." He believes that only a small number of children should be kept in each home and not in the cavernous buildings being used today. They should be designed as real homes not institutions. There shouldn't be a gate." He does not really care whether the bishop decides to publish the report. "People know the reality now." He accepted the bishop's apology with open arms. "But I wanted it also from the guilty. The bishop did nothing to me. It was his predecessor, Nikol Cauchi, who should apologise." He also wants a personal apology from the nun who hurt him. Why? "I just want the satisfaction, to see that the truth will out. The good they did was ruined by the little harm they did. We will never forget. We will get relief but not amnesia. The pain goes away, but the memory remains." Why did the nun do this? "I am not in their minds. But I think it worked like this. When you start working in a mobile phone factory, the first mobiles you see you see them as mobiles. But after a year, they are no longer mobiles. They are just products. That is they way the nuns saw us, as products rather than children. At times the nuns also become frustrated we were not their children yet they had to care for us 24/7." He quotes Mandela let us forget the past and move forward. "You cannot move forward by continuing to look backwards." "They didn't mistreat us all the time. He was adopted when he was 24 by a family with two girls, both younger than him. How did it feel? "I immediately got a sense of security, something to look forward to everyday. It was the first time I lived in a family and I cannot describe the sensation. I had known them for a long time. I knew the eldest daughter who is six years younger than me and I used to visit their home. She knew about my problems. By that time I had given up my life of crime. I always wanted to change and I was tired. I used to sleep in one of the rooms of a small hotel they owned. One day the father, my father now, told me that he wanted to adopt me and I said yes. I really want to thank my adoptive parents and sisters from the bottom of my heart. There is no way I can ever thank them enough for what they have done for me."
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.