BishopAccountability.org
	Finding God Away from Catholicism By Kimberly Brehm Daily Southtown September 17, 2007 http://www.dailysouthtown.com/news/opinion/guests/561055,091707brehm.article I felt like I was cheating. As I walked into the church with my family, I found myself furtively looking around, wondering if I was going to see anyone I knew. I felt guilty but excited. It felt forbidden and a little bit naughty to be entering a church that wasn't Catholic, but I knew we had to try something new. For the past several years, it's been harder and harder for me to support the Catholic Church. There have been too many sexual abuse cases nationwide for me to proudly be a parishioner anymore and too many antiquated church laws that make it difficult for me to be a good Catholic. I feel like I break so many rules and want so many changes that I really don't fit in anymore, despite my background. I was born and raised on the South Side. I attended a parochial grammar and high school and spent many, many hours in our neighborhood Catholic church. I dutifully attended Mass a couple of times each week, made all of my sacraments and sang in the church choir. Of course, I had to sing because what I really wanted to do - be an altar boy - wasn't an option back then. Even now, girls and women only can serve God in limited capacities, according to the Catholic Church. Church officials hold tight to centuries-old laws and suppress women as leaders. As I grew older, married and had three children, I began to realize that it wasn't easy to live as a good Catholic. It's hard to feel good sitting in the pew on Sundays, listening to sermons you don't necessarily agree with. It's daunting to wonder if you will go to hell because you know you aren't following all the rules and don't support some of your church's basic beliefs, like not allowing priests and nuns to marry. While it's easy to forego meat on Fridays during Lent, it isn't so easy foregoing modern birth control methods the Catholic Church forbids. And when the first sexual abuse scandal hit the news in 2002, it was really difficult to find solace and comfort in the arms of Catholicism. How can I comfortably put my envelope in the church basket every week knowing that churches all over the country need money to settle outrageous sex abuse lawsuits? Earlier this month, the diocese of San Diego agreed to pay $198 million for 144 victims of sexual abuse by Catholic priests. In July, the Los Angeles diocese agreed to pay $660 million to 508 plaintiffs. Those are just the latest settlements since 2002, when the Catholic Church scandal first erupted after the Boston diocese paid more than $100 million to about 500 victims. It's sickening to read the news reports and realize so many young Catholics were abused by the very men they were told represented God. It's disheartening at best to know that church leaders hid the information - and the abusers - instead of doing what was right to make sure it stopped and never happened again. How could I support a church that would do such a thing? And how could I possibly justify our church's actions to my children when I can't justify them to myself? So, at the advice of some good friends, we decided to just try a different church to see if we could find better spiritual peace somewhere else. And though it felt strange and illicit at first, we had a wonderful time. The nondenominational Christian church we attended was welcoming, and the sermon was uplifting. The pastor preached in a conversational tone and made sure to include the children in his teachings. He spent a lot of time explaining the week's Bible readings instead of just remotely reading the text. Our kids were excited about the additional singing and more laid-back atmosphere. They said they felt more a part of the service and wanted to go back the following week. And for the first time in years, I felt a stirring in my heart as I sat in that pew remembering that Sunday services are more about God and less about church. As long as we are living as we believe God wants us to, I don't believe God cares what church we attend on Sundays. Just don't tell my very Catholic Italian grandmother. I fear her wrath much more than I fear God. Kimberly Brehm may be reached at kbrehm@starnewspapers.com or (708) 802-8815.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.