By Ed Langlois
Catholic Sentinel
September 14, 2007
http://www.sentinel.org/node/8300
Wilsonville — Catholic ministers in western Oregon are getting a new look at how to recognize and prevent sexual abuse of children. Clergy, religious and a large corps of lay workers in parishes and schools will bring the knowledge to volunteers, parents and youngsters in the coming months.
"Other denominations and faiths are looking to Catholics as a model," sex abuse expert Christy Schiller told 170 church workers gathered for a workshop here Monday.
Renewed, mandated training of ministers and volunteers marks a definitive next step in the Archdiocese of Portland's effort to block sex abuse, which harmed scores of Catholic children in past decades.
In 2004, lawsuits brought by accusers prompted the archdiocese to file for bankruptcy, a process that ended just last April after settlements amounted to about $75 million.
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| Christy Schiller discusses sex abuse with 170 parish and school ministers. Photo by Ed Langlois |
The new prevention program will include age-appropriate videos, suppplemental courses online and a database to make sure church employees have background checks and training.
"In meeting with victims and hearing their grievances, the one thing they want is that we know what happened to them as children and the pain they felt," Archbishop John Vlazny told the ministers Monday. "We want very much to make sure that our children never get abused by anyone who serves in the church or anyone in society."
The archbishop, who in the course of six years has apologized repeatedly for sex abuse by clergy between the 1940s and 1980s, sat in the crowd along with youth ministers, directors of religious education, principals, deacons and pastors.
Monday's session was one of six meant to reach every professional parish minister in the archdiocese, which covers western Oregon from the Cascades to the Pacific.
"People are watching the priests pretty close now," Schiller told the group. "It's the ninety percent we aren't watching in churches that we need to start watching."
Schiller, an anthropologist and mother of a first grader, is part of Texas-based Praesidium, which began helping organizations work to prevent sex abuse in the late 1980s. Twenty Catholic dioceses have hired Praesidium, whose Latin name connotes protection and fortification.
Through talks and video presentations, parish and school leaders are learning how sexual predators work — complimenting children lavishly, offering money and gifts, winning over the confidence of parents. Abusers may ridicule beliefs of parents and encourage activities parents prohibit. Some seek to make youths feel guilty about wanting to spend time with other people.
Risky moments include counseling, retreats, transportation and sports.
One young abuser in the video, whose father was a deacon, explained that he would cheerfully volunteer to lead children's activities at church. He would take young girls onto his lap and molest them in ways no one could see, until one girl started calling him "the big bad wolf" and his actions were discovered.
Only 10 percent of abuse is carried out by strangers. About thirty percent happens within families. That leaves 60 percent of abuse coming from someone known to the child and family.
Children who need more attention tend to be vulnerable to abuse, as do those with behavior problems or disabilities.
Parish workers are to see to it that children are never alone with one adult. If abuse is suspected, archdiocesan policy calls for reporting to legal and church authorities immediately.
Schiller praised the idea of specific policies naming inappropriate behavior. Such policy, she explained, can be liberating because all ministers will know what is beyond the pale. It also will make it clear when someone is going outside the bounds, perhaps before serious abuse occurs.
"It's a call to empower people to know what to look for," Schiller said. "Respond to the boundary violations, not just abuse."
The program calls for rigorous screening and intensive training in recognizing the signs of abuse in children, which include a change in behavior, and a distaste for people and activities once cherished. There can be potty training problems in younger children, depression, falling grades, moodiness and inappropriate sexual behavior toward other youths.
To counter possible abuse, said Schiller, parents can create an atmosphere in which children can tell all. From the time they are young, youngsters should know names for the private parts of their bodies and know that they are indeed private.
Parents should ask a lot of questions when their children are to be alone with adults. One abuser in the video said he stayed away from a child whose mother started inquiring whether he had a girlfriend and why he had sleeping bags on the floor when the children were visiting his house for the day.
An anguished parent portrayed in the program looks at his daughter who had been abused and says, "If I had asked more questions, this would never have happened."
In the next year in western Oregon parishes, plans call for training and videos designed for parents. Employees and volunteers, including coaches, get specific training in addition. Parish elementary school children will see their own video as will middle- and high-schoolers.
The hip video for teens employs youth actors to discuss abuse in frank terms. There is practical advice about ways to thwart an adult who is making advances — leave the room, mention that you tell your parents everything or simply pull away. Some scenes get important points across with humor; one boy suggests parrying an offer of sexual activity by saying, "Oh, hey, my dad's a cop and he loves to bust people like you."
Schiller told the story of a high school teacher in another state who would spray perfume on her neck in class and ask the boys to come up and smell. The teacher also told the students about her marital problems and inability to conceive. Students, said Schiller, would do well to respond to that kind of talk with one of their favorite acronyms — TMI, for "Too Much Information."
When screening job applicants, church employers should ask if there have been any complaints regarding interaction with children.
Schiller explained that often, new teachers or youth ministers trying to connect with kids will make "rookie mistakes," crossing boundaries of propriety. Even if they are not abusers, they need to be confronted on acts like excessive touch.
Children do need positive interaction with adults but there should be standards set for showing affection, says the video. Experts suggest verbal recognition, high fives and brief embraces.
One of the voices in the Praesidium material is Bishop Gregory Aymond of Austin, Texas, chairman of the U.S. bishops' Committee for the Protection of Children and Young People. He repeatedly says that one of the duties of ministers is to let children know how important they are in the eyes of God and in the church. The bishop also urges parishes to have a system of checks and balances in their ministry for the young.
Each parish and Catholic school will have a facilitator to keep an eye on sex abuse policy and training.
Ministers on hand Monday shared various concerns. A now-retired Catholic school teacher complained that her fears were disregarded when she told the principal that a colleague seemed to be touching students too much. The teacher under suspicion had charisma, a degree from a respected school and a large group of admirers.
Another lay minister thinks volunteers may balk at background check requirements. But a colleague piped up, saying that after all the archdiocese has gone through with abuse cases, most Catholic volunteers will gladly meet stringent requirements.
"We're here to serve God, but we need to make sure we are keeping our kids safe and keeping our organization safe," Schiller responded. "People who are fighting this, you might not want them in your ministry."
Joy Ruplinger, youth ministry coordinator at St. Andrew Parish in Portland, was at first not enthused about attending the day. A busy woman, it seemed to her that the abuse in the past had been carried out by clergy, not laity. But soon, she was glad she had come. "This is really good information," Ruplinger said. "You can use it anywhere, not just at church — in your neighborhood or your job." The program is prompting her to add safeguards to her ministry.
In the mid-1990s, when organizations like the YMCA had set up ambitious programs to prevent sex abuse, pedophiles began to target churches, which accepted volunteers and workers with no or few questions asked.
"If you were a carbon-based life form and you volunteered, you would do," Schiller told ministers.
She reminded the audience that a study found that sex abuse is less prevalent among Catholic priests than among men in society at large. She added that Catholics are not alone in suffering from abuse. But she warned against ever letting down the guard. That is precisely when abusers step in.
"Never tolerate drift," she said. "What we want for you is to weave this piece of what we do into the tapestry of who you are. It needs to be integrated."
Schiller praised the U.S. bishops for their 2002 charter on the protection of children and young people.
"That was the first time an organzation on a national level said, 'We are not going to put up with this any more,'" she explained. "On that day, the Catholic Church set the bar high, very high."
Contact: edl@sentinel.org.
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