By Marianne Love
The San Fernando Valley Sun
August 9, 2007
http://sanfernandosun.com/sanfernsun/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1527&Itemid=2
| "I feel victimized once again. (The Church) has a history of doing the wrong thing. For once (it) could have done the right thing," McParland said on Friday. "At this point I'm just disgusted. It's been just as hard as what they did as the abuse itself. LA had a chance, in 1982, to make it right and they didn't." Kevin McParland |
California — A Sherman Oaks man sexually abused by a Pennsylvania priest, just wanted his chance to meet with Cardinal RogerMahony, hoping he would at last hear words of apology from his Church.
But instead, Kevin McParland was turned down last week because he was abused in Erie and he was an adult at the time, according to Archdiocese of Los Angeles spokesman Tod Tamberg.
In a statement released July 24 by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles following the announcement of a $660 million, record settlement of some 508 abuse cases involving Catholic priests, Mahony said he would privately meet with any victim of abuse who wishes to meet with him.
"There are many victims of childhood sexual abuse in Los Angeles over the past 70 years, and Cardinal Mahony will continue to meet with those who wish to meet with him. As Archbishop of Los Angeles, he is responsible to these people [of Los Angeles] first and foremost," Tamberg wrote in an e-mail to The San Fernando Valley Sun/El Sol. "Adult victims of sexual assault in other dioceses should contact the bishop of that diocese. For all questions regarding Mr.
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| Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahony looks at those who were molested by priests as Judge Haley J. Fromholz asked the victims in the courtroom to stand in this July 16, 2007 file photo in Los Angeles. Mahony approved a record clergy abuse payout, opened the files of the Roman Catholic priests involved and stared into the TV cameras and apologized for the victims' treatment. Yet critics question whether the cardinal should have done more to rein in predatory priests in the nation's largest archdiocese. |
McParland, I refer you to the Diocese of Erie, PA." McParland said he was told he would be put on a wait list. He didn't know how many were before or after him.
"I feel victimized once again. (The Church) has a history of doing the wrong thing. For once (it) could have done the right thing," McParland said on Friday. "At this point I'm just disgusted. It's been just as hard as what they did as the abuse itself. LA had a chance, in 1982, to make it right and they didn't."
Mary Grant, southwest director of SNAP, Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, said Mahony's rejection to meet with McParland is another example of his never-ending excuses and continuous hair splitting.
"It's what hurts survivors like Kevin over and over again. Mahony says one thing and does another," Grant said. "This proves how disingenuous Cardinal Mahony is. His apologies are hollow and misleading and hurtful to survivors."
Grant said her organization cautions survivors about discussing their abuse without the presence of an attorney. She said they could unknowingly reveal evidence during a vulnerable moment and later used against them, or alert church officials about something they have no knowledge of.
She said actions speak louder than words and Mahony should disclose a list of priest abusers and put their pictures on the Diocese's Web site, cooperate with police and take actions that prove he is sorry.
"Even if Cardinal Mahony is truly sorry, we believe he should be criminally indicted. This man had the authority to care for thousands of children in LA where there were thousands of crimes he knew about. An apology is one thing, consequences are another. An apology is a tool of denial without real action," Grant said.
The $660 million settlement, paid with insurance funds and other sources, may bring comfort to some of the church's surviving victims, but like McParland others still yearn for the full truth and accountability, which has yet to satisfy them despite the recent settlement.
McParland, now 47, was 20 years old when he was abused twice by Stephen E. Jesselnick.
He was paid $25,000 by Jesselnick over a three-yearperiod starting in May 2005, an amount that was to pay for mental counseling and of which McParland said he fought hard to get.
But, McParland said the money hardly covered years of medical bills nor the loss of income he sustained because of his inability to maintain a job that eventually lead to homelessness.
Attempting to start a new life, McParland moved to the Los Angeles area and sought forgiveness and absolution at St. James Catholic Church in Redondo Beach. He felt he had sinned, God was punishing him and he feared he was going to hell.
McParland holds the Archdiocese of Los Angeles partly responsible, because he sought help in its district in 1982 and was counseled for one year by a parish priest at St. James'.
McParland grew up as an extremely devout Irish Catholic - Mass and communion every Sunday, prayed the rosary every night and confessed sins on a monthly basis - in Greenville, Pennsylvania, a small town of about 800 people.
Irish Catholics believe, he said, in a very punishing, vengeful God and questioning what a priest or nun said is blasphemy. The more a person suffers on Earth, the greater their rewards were in heaven.
"There was a lot of "magical" thinking," McParland said. "For example, one time my sister got measles. My older sister and I teased her so God "punished" us by giving us worse cases of measles. God's wrath could be incurred without any logical explanation."
He said he and his sisters believe their father's heart attack and long-term illness were "punishment," but they didn't know why. He was taught that if he wanted to do well in a class, the most important thing was to "pray about it," not to study.
"The Irish, especially back then, never discussed sex -that was just for having children. We were taught if we did not follow what the Church taught us without question that we were sinners and had no faith," McParland said. "Faith seemed to mean believing in things that made no sense. A person never wanted to stand out or be too successful. That was pride. Suffering was the path to salvation. If bad things happened in your life it was because you didn't pray hard enough or have faith.
Mary Jane McGraw, founder of Coalition for Truth, calls the survivors "martyrs of the Church's reformation" and said they have courage to come forward and "make this horrible, immortal, criminal, anti-Christlike treatment and secrecy known."
But, instead the Church throws money at them and others call them "money grabbers," McGraw said.
McGraw also criticized the Church for not collecting money for those abused by priests and yet they pass the Sunday basket during Mass for donations for victims of earthquakes, the hungry and children in ThirdWorld countries.
She feels the Church has failed to ask churchgoers for donations so the lay community can be reaching out in a healing manner as individuals toward survivors.
"If someone calls, you respond. If the phone rings you answer it. If someone reaches out, you be there for them, that's Jesus' message," McGraw said.
McGraw, who is closely connected with many of the victims in the Los Angeles area, believes there's no way to substantiate Mahony's claim that he has met with 70 victims.
"Now we know he didn't meet with Kevin. I personally know of a victim who called and was seen within two weeks. I don't think there are that many who want an apology," McGraw said. "It's futile. Words without action. Empty rhetoric is all that it is."
Staff Reporter Marianne Love can be reached at (818) 365- 3111, Ext. 152. Or, by e-mailing mlove@sanfernandosun.com
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