Its Very Wearying Pilgrim Church Debates Admitting Sex Offender, by Sandi Dolbee, The Union-Tribune [California], May 5, 2007

'It's Very Wearying'
Pilgrim Church Debates Admitting Sex Offender

By Sandi Dolbee
The Union-Tribune [California]
May 5, 2007

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20070505-9999-1m5pilgrim.html

Life in the spotlight hasn't been easy for Pilgrim United Church of Christ.

First came the local media. Then there was CNN, National Public Radio and The New York Times. Earlier this week, it was "ABC World News" setting up shop in the sanctuary for a segment that aired last night.

Not to mention the hours of intense church meetings.

All because Pilgrim, a Carlsbad congregation that prides itself on its openness and acceptance, is struggling with whether to welcome a registered sex offender.

"It's very wearying," said Pilgrim's pastor, the Rev. Madison Shockley. "Every member, everywhere they go, people say, 'Oh, you're from that church.' "

The Rev. Madison Shockley (right) of Pilgrim United Church of Christ spoke with ABC News correspondent Dan Harris before an interview. The church has received a lot of press lately because it is considering allowing a sex offender to attend its services.
Photo by Dan TRevan

Tomorrow, after months of emotional discussions, Pilgrim's members are poised to consider a safe-church policy that could be the first step toward deciding whether convicted child molester Mark Pliska will eventually be allowed to worship with them.

"We don't know what the outcome will be," Shockley said.

Tom Boggs, Pilgrim's moderator – the top lay officer – will chair tomorrow's meeting. "The plan is we will vote on the safe-church policy; it's not a vote on Mark Pliska and whether he's attending," Boggs said.

If it is adopted, he said, "it will still take a couple months to figure out how to implement the policy."

Boggs said he's "hopeful" members will come to an agreement "and we will be able to move on."

But at least one church member cautions that a decision may not be reached at tomorrow's meeting, which is closed to the public.

"There's just a lot to talk about," said Dave Irvine, 48, one of several church members who revealed that they were childhood sexual-abuse victims.

Shockley wouldn't discuss the proposed policy because it hasn't been adopted. He said it's modeled after one developed by the Rev. Debra Haffner, a Unitarian Universalist minister and director of the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice and Healing.

Her template calls for getting a professional risk assessment of the offender, having the person sign an agreement limiting access on campus and assigning adults to be with that person while on church grounds.

Pliska, 53, abided by similar rules at the Santa Cruz church he attended last year. A minister there reported no problems.

Pliska didn't return calls for comment this week. Previously, he said he's hoping Pilgrim will find room for him and that he was open about his past because he doesn't want to keep secrets.

"He has been very considerate of our struggle," said Boggs, 58. "He has been patiently waiting."

Pilgrim is part of a liberal, progressive denomination known for its inclusiveness. The United Church of Christ drew headlines three years ago with an ad showing burly bouncers stopping a gay couple and selected other people from going into a church, followed by the words: "Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we."

But this case has taxed Pilgrim. "Mark showing up to our church has asked us to look more deeply into our theology," Boggs said. "We have always been a very welcoming and open congregation, but we never have been faced with a person of concern."

After Pliska told his story at a service Jan. 28, the 300-member church was deeply divided about his request to worship there. Shockley estimates that 10 families have stopped attending, at least for now. He also has asked Pliska to not attend for the time being.

One group hit particularly hard was men and women who had been sexually abused as children.

"It's a huge deal for people who have been abused to welcome someone who has been an abuser," said Irvine, who favors "a policy that works." He has three goals: Preserve the safety of children, keep it a spiritually and psychologically safe place for abuse survivors, and "still find a way to keep that welcome."

Pilgrim isn't the first religious group to be faced with this issue, but for a multitude of reasons it has drawn national attention.

Shockley has been contacted by churches across the country. One of the latest was a Church of Christ in Michigan. The pastor's calendar also is filling up with speaking engagements, including one later this month with Lutherans.

The pastor said this is more than a debate of theology versus reality. "I don't think forgiveness and redemption are really the issue," he said. "It's the practical aspect of what makes us safe."

Sandi Dolbee: (619) 293-2082; sandi.dolbee@uniontrib.com