CALIFORNIA
The Orange County Register
By CHRIS KNAP
The Orange County Register
In bright sunlight, Patrick Wall walked in darkness.
Lost in the secular world.
After 11 years as a Benedictine monk - six as a priest - he had renounced his vows and left St. John's Abbey.
Disheartened by sexually abusive monks, restricted by rigid superiors and convinced his vow of celibacy would fail, Wall finally won his freedom from the Rule of Benedict.
It was the scariest possible outcome for a man who once considered the abbey his life.
At St. John's, everything was provided: food, clothing, health care, cars. Now he had none of those.
His training was in Latin and Italian, in divine texts and church history. Now, it seemed of little use.
"When you leave the monastery you are completely disconnected," Wall says. "You have no idea where you are going to go, what you are going to do or even if you can fit in."
At first, he wiped bottoms in a Minnesota hospital. He came to California and shuffled paper in a county office.
One Sunday, Wall read a newspaper commentary by a lawyer who had won a $5 million sexual-abuse settlement from the Diocese of Orange.
Attorney John Manly blasted Catholic bishops for "act(ing) more like the tobacco industry than like the successors to the apostles that they are supposed to be."
The next day, Wall called Manly's office, introduced himself as a former priest and offered to help penetrate the secrecy of the church.
Manly did not call back.